So many times recently have I heard our economic status compared to that of The Great Depression. We all are experiencing it on some level whether we're worried about job security, having trouble getting a loan, or simply not making 'unnecessary' expenditures. And month by month, we're seeing a trickle down effect where restaurants are less crowded on the weekends, stores are offering more sales with higher discounts, and even so much as seeing more coupons at the local convenience store or the grocery store. We're counting our pennies right now. And among these unnecessary expenditures I'm mentioning, budget-cutting is bleeding over into our personal lives as well.
Upon having a funny albeit enlightening conversation with a client, he put it in words that I could not have come up with myself... (Or maybe I could after thinking about it for quite some time... But hey, credit given where credit is due.)
We are in a romantic recession.
And no, I'm not talking about not opening doors or pulling out chairs. I'm talking about all of us who are out there and single laying low because honestly... We can't afford to have a boyfriend or girlfriend.
I took a brief glance at my budget from when I was in a relationship compared to now. And a brief glance at my budget when I started dating again to now shows that I spent more money even when I was in a long-term relationship than I do flying solo. I spent money on dinners, movies, groceries for two, little presents here and there... And yes, he did contribute a ton; probably even more than I did. But I was having to watch my spending in some areas of my life to afford spending in another.
Going on a date may not seem like an expense. But then you think about the cab fares, the drinks, dinners, adventures, movie tickets... And for women, this may also mean: a new shirt, a quick polish change, and... of course... the time it takes us to get ready. Because time is money, right?
Let's do a brief calculation just for fun. (And I won't include the new shirt I had to get because it was on sale for $10 and seriously that's a steal.) A dinner and a movie date...
Movie tickets: $10 each totalling $20.
Cab to dinner: $8 including tip.
Dinner: $15 per entree not include appetizers and drinks totalling $30.
Drinks at dinner: $7 per glass of wine. At least 2 glasses of wine. Let's estimate $25.
Cab to movie theater (optional): $10 including tip.
Snacks and drinks at movie: $20 because you know each kernel of popcorn costs you about $.10. And you can only get those ginormous bags of M&Ms now when you realistically can only eat about a third of the bag without getting a cavity on the spot. No normal-sized anything. Our country is trying to make us fat... and broke... Conspiracy I tell you!
Cab home from date: $8 including tip.
Grand total: $121 total for everything combined. Without the cab to the movie theater the total is $101. (Someone may want to check my math here. Once I get past fingers and toes, I'm onto a calculator.)
What I actually spent: *may vary depending on type of date, nature of date, and location of date*
$16 on cab rides.
$10 on movie ticket.
$30 roughly on dinner including drinks.
$10 on snacks.
My Grand Total: $66.
NOTE: Yes, this is assuming my date doesn't pay for the whole dinner or both movie tickets. And generally, no chivalrous guy would let me go dutch on EVERYTHING. (Although at some point I really do insist on buying at least a drink and snacks.) But we'll move forward under the assumption that you've let me pay at least for snacks at the movie...
What this means for men is: You're spending at least $100 for one date.
My point?? She better be WELL worth it!
Let's be realistic for a second. I can't afford that. And unless you're Bill Gates or Donald Trump, you probably can't either. The current state of our economy is not only non-conducive for getting jobs... It's a metaphorical romantic recession!
I'm not really planning on becoming a hermit altogether. But it will definitely make me think twice about with whom, when, and where I go out. This adds a whole other perspective to the term 'making an investment in someone'. It is an investment!
So...
Dear Mr. President,
Please do something quickly because I really don't feel like sitting home alone On-Demand'ing movies and eating microwave popcorn for the rest of my life. And I really want to wear that cute shirt I got for $10 (on sale from $48!).
Keep BaRACKin' the White House!
Representing your home town,
Becky
(GO SOX!)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
You....this....everything you write....really needs to be published. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteClearly the next step is to start a broke single's group where the guy isn't the only one paying for things, and the girl is willing to go on cheap dates.
ReplyDeleteWho is down for some Taco Bell?
It takes a lot of creativity to make a date feel special while under budget. Either way, in the end it all adds up. If your opposite is not willing to compromise as well, then not only are you wasting your time, but you are wasting your money. It is not being cheap if you are making the best of what is available. It is being lazy if you do not bother to notice.
ReplyDeleteLJ, thanks! Now let's find someone to pay me to do this...
ReplyDeleteRobert, you and me... Let's do it.
TJ, I agree to a certain extent. I think there are tons of ways to come up with a classy, fun date without breaking the bank. I just think it's sad that it now costs $100+ to go on a dinner/movie date.
Of course if your partner isn't willing to compromise then it makes things more difficult. But on that same token, maybe if that person isn't willing to see the value in the effort rather than the monetary value then it's time to look at whether you two mesh when it comes to how you spend time together and what expectations are.
I think most women aren't looking for metaphorical diamonds on a date. I remember when I was in a relationship and my at-the-time boyfriend would simply ask me if I wanted to go for a quick dinner and then come home and watch a movie. I'd be STOKED. I'd be bragging about my hot date like it was a first.
In fact, our first date was just out to see a movie. (Ice Age 2. Yes, I'm serious.) Given, we didn't meet the traditional way (we met from an online dating site) so we didn't have to 'talk and get to know each other' like many other dates do. We were past that due to days of endless emailing, texting, and eventually talking. But sometimes it's the littler things that mean the most. Even 2+ yrs into our relationship we would still laugh about it.
Obviously things didn't work out with us but there is still plenty good to look back on and smile about. My biggest point is that sometimes it's not what you do but rather who you're with. The right girl won't be stuck up about how much you spend on her on a first date. Look at Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City), she made going to get a NY slice of pizza look glamorous. I wouldn't necessarily recommend Wendy's with candles, but there are many places right now accommodating to our financial situation and many lesser known hole-in-the-wall places that would actually probably impress your date! Need suggestions? I'll try to help!
I personally think too many out there put too much unneeded pressure on themselves when it comes to dating, especially with the monetary aspects. Like TJ said, a little creativity can go a long way when you're dating and yet keeping things more on a budget.
ReplyDeleteWith my girlfriend, neither of us have deep needs to be going on all-out dates or even moderate ones. We're not cheap, but we have inexpensive tastes. Here's some illustrations:
Many times we just hang at my place, take walks in scenic areas when we want exercise, and cook meals together. We'll pick a recipe that looks cool, go to the store, get stuff, then cook it together. She loves it because she always wanted to learn to cook. She'll also often want to chill in her PJs and watch stuff I get from Netflix, seeing that she didn't see a lot of American movies in her life and thus it's like discovering new things.
Dinners out happen. Sometimes we'll get with friends and do the $15 a plate place or we'll go to a more modest spot. In the downtown area, I think it's perfectly ok to take a date to Tempo Cafe as opposed to the boutique-style hot restaurant. We've also found European-style cafes to be a wondrous thing, especially Iguana Cafe on Halsted. Just to sit in a cozy, but cool environment, have crepes, and good conversation.
I don't think with us it's that we're really thinking about saving money, but we just found dinners out and the usual dating fare to be just plain boring. I remember one Sunday I didn't want to stay in, so I dragged her out to the Garfield Park Conservatory. She still says to this day how much she loved it (she's into plants and gardens). We've also been wanting to go see some exhibitions at the Art Institute. Also not an expensive outing. Festivals, cultural events, etc...so much to do in the city of Chicago that doesn't cost a lot, but it comes down to at times doing things off the beaten path or at times that aren't the usual evenings.
Even when we eat out we don't consume a lot, mostly because she's not a drinker and we both are watching our weights. Hence why drinks rarely happen and we don't order appetizers unless that's all we want. Again I don't think it's a money issue as much as a calorie issue with us. It's even why we don't end up buying any food when we're at the theater...mostly because we just ate dinner 30 min ago.
In my experiences from a male standpoint, I have not dated women who sat there thinking bad things because the guy isn't taking her to the $15-$20 a plate restaurants or buying her the $100 bouquet of roses from the floral shop. Most women I've known are just happy to get a beautiful $6 bouquet from the grocery store. They're happy because he made the extra effort for her.
First dates do seem to be more of a challenge, since this is a time to impress someone, but again I've found I can impress someone more with an interesting date than a typical costly date. Just requires imagination.
Even you women don't have to buy a new top every time you go out. Lord knows we're looking at the total package...not if you're changing up fashions with every date.
I'd tell anyone if your date is the type who sees the lower-priced menu and thinks you're a cheapo or something, and is thinking "eh" because you went to the grocery store as opposed to a florist, then maybe this isn't someone you should be dating. After all, we're trying to find an ideal mate in the world we live in and be ourselves, rather than put on an extravagant show hoping to impress someone.