Really. Honestly. For Real.

In common conversation terms like ‘Honestly’, ‘To be honest’, or ‘Really’ are gaining exceeding popularity. Prefacing your statement with a term like this is not actually meant to say that you were otherwise going to be dishonest. Usually these terms are used to preface a statement that one needs preparation for… Maybe the person is being a bit more forward than usual. Or maybe he or she is going to tell you something that you wouldn’t necessarily consider ‘good news’. ‘Honestly’ is a forewarning. And being legitimately honest—telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth---is apparently the new fad.

The interesting part of this is that people are now using terms like these more often than usual. Why now? What has spurred this change in attitude when in the past people would go to great lengths to save face, maintain their individualism, and indirectly say something in hopes that the person on the receiving end can read between the lines. Prefacing with ‘honestly’ or ‘to be honest’ has become a way to excuse yourself ahead of time from saying something that could otherwise be considered forthright, insulting, or bold. I would possibly even equate this saying to certain situations where someone makes a comment and ends it with *pause* ‘just kidding’. However, the intent and result is a much more direct, and therefore productive, communication style. And people are finding more and more that we are tougher than we thought. Adequate credit has not been given in the past to people on the receiving end of these comments for fear of hurting feelings or making yourself look like a less than standup person.

So… Why now? Well, a couple ideas came to mind.

First off is our theme of Changes that’s upon is spurring some motivation to make changes within ourselves. And becoming a little more selfish is resulting in a more selfless outcome. I have always operated under the general rule that I would rather have the entire truth and not like it than be lied to or not given all the details and have to backtrack and compensate for missing or false information. I understand not everyone works like this. I know the saying “Ignorance is Bliss” is helpful in some situations. But in day-to-day happenings, we just want to be able to deal. We want to have a full view of what’s going on and we want to figure out a solution, process, or goal. People are finally realizing that we do have control over things in our lives, but in order to take that control, we need to be real with ourselves and those surrounding us. Rather than things simply happening to us we are now making things happen. It’s impressive.

The second reason I associate with this newfound boldness is, surprisingly, The Recession. Right now we need each other more than ever. We need help finding jobs, finding housing, networking, socializing, creating some form of support system so we can get by… People are relating to each other more now than ever before. We have all become resources for each other and as a result, there is an increased comfort level allowing us to be real and not so concerned with saving face. The saying “desperate times calls for desperate measures” seems to ring true. Unfortunately our ‘desperate measures’ consist of being honest about the fact that we need help… causing a dent in our individualistic ego and forcing people to take a hard look at themselves and say, ‘Oh, so what?!’ It’s taken us this long to realize that we can rely on other people, we can relate on this topic even if everything else between us differs, and we can trust other people to help. Everyone wants to help. (Generally speaking, of course…)

So maybe we’re gaining some collective confidence. Maybe this economy---our insecurity about our future---is helping us to find a better way to operate and communicate. Maybe we are realizing that people really can handle more than we gave them credit for in the past. Maybe we’ll be able to walk away from these intense, difficult, stressful times with a little more knowledge, a new outlook, and maybe a few more friends. And we could always use a few more friends, no? …Really… Honestly… For Real…