From Rags to Riches...

After much research and experimentation, I've learned that there really is no rhyme or reason to what men like... A very frustrating, inconclusive experiment if I must say. After asking the question, "Are you more attracted to the woman in a t-shirt and jeans or the woman who is adorned in jewels and the latest fashion fad?" I got the most inconsistent responses. Yes, guys like a 'down' girl who looks cute in her PJ's. But I also got the response that guys like when a woman 'takes care of her appearance'... Translation: I like a designer woman. (Or at least, a woman who looks designer.)


I know these are two extremes: PJ's and couture. And I also acknowledge that there exists a spectrum of in-between's to consider. And no two men are alike. That's true too. But when it comes to going out, and being approached... What is the happy medium?


Of course you are not expected (or accepted) to show up at the newest Chicago hotspot in sneakers, a t-shirt, and grungy jeans. Situations call for certain attire. But as a general rule, maybe when grabbing a bite to eat with a friend, which is more approachable? I've talked to men who think that a woman who is all glammed up is intimidating and therefore unapproachable. Or maybe they think she's trying too hard and is therefore unapproachable. And in my experience, the attention I've gotten when I go out all 'glammed up' ranges from undesired attention (namely from that drunk guy who doesn't realize he's spitting on me as he sputters, "Damn, baby! You FIIIIIIINE!") to the random, charming mister who approaches simply to say "I like your outfit". And while the attention is nice, I find that the number of cute, charming misters actually decreases when I'm dressed up to when I'm dressed down.


For example, there have been nights where I've dressed to the nines... Cocktail dress on, hair done, makeup on, my favorite shoes afoot; either for a girls-night-out or for an event. I leave my apartment feeling great, ready to turn heads. And, as far as pure observation goes, heads do turn. Some are more obvious than others, but the attention is there. But I've found more often than not, people turn to look but don't necessarily come to say hello or start conversation. In fact, more recently I've noticed that women are more likely to come up and say "You look really cute" than men; a totally unexpected, but exceedingly flattering, compliment considering most women see each other as 'competition'. However...


I've found that the past few times I've a) been at the gym, b) gone grocery shopping, and c) generally been out in public but in 'chill' mode are the times I've gotten the most, let's call it, 'return' (because really, after looking at my budget and what I cost... I really am an investment!). Another example, tonight I met my friend Becki for a drink and a bite at a bar nearby. While typically I'd throw on some jeans, heels, a sweater, some makeup, and head out looking at least a little bit put together, tonight I felt especially low key. Instead of my typical attire, I had on yoga pants, a t-shirt and hoodie, hair pulled back in a braid, and very minimal makeup. In the two hours that Becki and I were there, we had one gentleman come up to us and (although this was not my idea of courtship) tried to seemingly impress us with his pocketbook. (*rolls eyes* Welcome to the Gold Coast!) And on my walk to the bathroom (while Becki was still entertaining Mr. Moneybags), a table of three men stopped me to say hello while another just innocently smiled and nodded in passing. I'm not meaning to say that I'm the hottest thing since sliced bread here, quite the opposite. My point is that I qualified myself tonight as fitting in the 'looks like doody' category when I was actually getting the reverse response from the audience. My 'return' was up tonight.


So, I don't get it. My only conclusion on this topic is that there is no conclusion. Maybe it depends on the time, the place, the guy, the mood... The only constant that I found in these situations is... *drum roll please* Confidence. I feel great when I get all gussied up and go out with my girl friends. And tonight, I didn't care that I fit into my 'doody' category. I was comfortable and happy. So that can only mean one thing... Fat days, skinny days, bad hair days, breakout days, I-accidentally-put-on-two-mismatched-shoes days (*echem* You know who you are...), they don't matter. You're always going to have someone who's attracted to you, and you're always going to have more who aren't. You can't win them all. Ultimately, all that matters is how you feel about yourself regardless of what you're wearing. So go ahead, ladies. Rock out au naturale on your easy days. I can almost guarantee that someone will think you're beautiful as long as you smile.


The moral: You can look like a million bucks in rags or riches.